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Broken & Flawed... but Priceless!

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I am broken.

I don’t know if I ever truly felt broken before Leisha died.

I think perhaps in my pumping sunshine (Ren’s word for my positive outlook) way of looking at the world, I most often felt like whatever was wrong with the world God would find a way of making it right.

But since losing my child, I am very aware that God has not taken away the pain I have felt, nor would I want him too. It is part of the love relationship I had with my daughter. I miss her in my life because of my deep love for her.

Even if I will forever feel broken.

I'm flawed.

I take it back to Adam and Eve.

Here they were - the perfect couple in the perfect garden.

They had no baggage. They had no past life. They had no history that hurt them.

They were completely free of all of that.

And they still were flawed

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When Your Holiday Isn't Hallmark!

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This new year I am unexpectedly spending time with my parents, My 85 year old father spent the weekend in the hospital and we are struggling alongside him as he tries to gain some ground on the issues that are threatening his quality of life.

One year ago during the Christmas holiday,. Rennie was in the James Center recovering from a stroke. I’m thrilled to say he has made a full recovery. I reread a post I wrote one night sitting by my husband’s hospital bed. The events of last Christmas are speaking boldly into the emotions I have as I watch my father labor to do the ‘right stuff’ to cooperate with us and the health professionals.

My own words have challenged me to rethink this moment, just as I was challenged one year ago. I thought you might benefit from reading them again too.

I'd Do It ALL Over Again!

Ten years ago, the woman in this picture was just beginning this thing called GREEN HOPE COACHING. It was exciting, inspiring, and terrifying all at the same time.

Now almost ten tears later, I love what i get to do. Coming alongside the women of GHC and partnering with them as they wrestle through the hard stuff to break free to BE exactly who they were made to be. It's still exciting and so inspiring. And I've had good reason to be terrified.

But I'd do it all over again….

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A Modern Day Psalm

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You have heard the words “unprecedented’”, “uncertain” and pandemic more times than you care to count at this point. The signs of the times have been stirring up so many emotions within you, and you find yourself reacting to people and circumstances with an edge to say the least. Someone asks you how you are, you say I’m Fine!

But are you? Really?

When I find myself swirling with emotions about what is going on around me, and feeling unable to control what is going on in me, I go to …

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You ARE Remarkable!

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Deep down I know you know this, but sometimes life circumstances and challenges send us mixed signals. Every once in a while it is just nice to be reminded. You are remarkable!

Remarkable: worthy of being noticed as being uncommon or extraordinary

You are here because you believe you were made to make a difference in your world. But something is keeping you from living it out.

  • you may feel…

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Celebrating the GIFTS of PRESENCE!

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Today is my birthday! April 20, 2020!

This is birthday in the middle of the ‘STAY AT HOME’ season that impacts us ALL, but leaves EACH of us responding differently. I enjoy time at home. But I need people too. I get energy in both realms. Today…I knew I needed people. So I used my birthday as an excuse to invite some women in my life to celebrate.

This was an open invitation to women in my world to join me for a virtual tea-party. I didn’t know who would say they wanted to come, but I know the women in my world. I knew they would be good for one another. And they were!

I covered my kitchen table with…

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Moments that Change A Life

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I promised I would share my RED SEA moment with you. A moment that was forced on me when my daughter Leisha died and I fought to keep living. God had to show up if I was going to survive!

My Red Sea was a terrifying journey through a dark and dreadful grief tunnel much like the path led through the RED SEA for the Israelites. I didn’t know how I was going to survive the grief tunnel any more than the children of Israel knew how they were going to get out of Egypt, or get through the Red Sea. It’s not a path I ever wanted to take, but it was the ‘less frightening’ choice.

I felt as if i was wallowing in mud up past the top of my head and I couldn’t move a finger let alone breathe. ..

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LOOKING AT THE BIG MOMENTS THAT CHANGE YOUR LIFE

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We are living in an unprecedented time in our world today. This is a season we will not soon forget - nor should we. However, often we get so caught up surviving the ‘moments’, we do forget to pay attention to what we are noticing in the middle of it all.

So what if we use this time to pay attention- not just to this moment, but to the moments in our lives that are even now speaking into what and how we are experiencing this uncertain time.

What are the moments when God showed up and touched the very heart of you?

Think about the significant moments in your past; moments you remember

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When HOPE feels close...but not close enough!

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No matter where you land in the chaotic "cacophony" (defined as a harsh discordant mixture of sounds), you are exposed to thoughts and emotions swirling feverishly around in our families, communities, schools, ...everywhere it seems. Whether or not you find yourself fearful or anxious, you are most likely in contact with someone in your world who is very much both. It is one thing to deal with our own feelings about the world's situation, but quite another to deal with someone else's- especially when it is on a global scale.

Several things stand out to me specifically in the uniqueness of this experience.

  1. This is a time when we have been forced to STOP whatever we were doing in our lives and pay attention….

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When the Holiday Isn't Hallmark!

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I really love a feel good story and Hallmark Christmas movies have always been something I enjoy. ( I don't even feel bad if you are judging me because of it.) We all want the good guy to win, the hero to save the day or the magic of 'that kiss'.  But we also know life doesn't always show up that way. 

I'm writing this to you while I'm sitting in the OSU James Med Center and my husband lies in a hospital bed beside me. He was life-flighted here on Friday for